Saturday, August 23, 2008

From Environmental Stewardship to Butt Holes in Less Than Five Minutes

Overheard at Pig Feathers BBQ in Toledo, OR during the Wooden Boat Show and Music Festival. Three women sharing a dinner of ribs and beer.

"So that's the big pipe everyone is so pissed about, dumping God knows what from the mill into the ocean. Thing's huge."
"According to the paper the plume shows up on satellite images...but Georgia Pacific says it's just plain ole water because it's already been filtered through ponds."
"And you believe that shit?"
"Kinda weird listening to music with that huge factory pumping steam into the air right behind the stage."
"Ah, whatever happened to the romantic idea of a paper mill."
"Romantic? You're kidding, right."
"You never saw An Officer and a Gentlemen?"
"Not me."
"You got be kidding me! The movie is iconic. That last scene where Richard Gere is wearing his dress whites and he goes to the paper mill where Debra Winger is making...I don't know...paper bags or something, and he picks her up and carries her away from that shitty life and shitty town. I love that scene. She puts his hat on her head and right there you just KNOW they're going to get married. God, that was soooo romantic."
"Hey, do you think it's true what they say about Richard Gere and gerbils?"
"You mean up the ass?"
"I don't care if he does. He's still damn good looking."
"You know I only took it up the ass once. Didn't feel so good. Never did it again."
"Me, too. I think I was in college."
"Same here. College."
"Yeah, my gotta respect the architecture."
"What do you mean?"
"The architecture. Some things are designed for entry, others are designed for exit. The butt hole...definitely an exit."
"Hey, can you pass the sauce?"

Like I always said...eavesdropping on women is always so much more interesting than eavesdropping on men.


The Neighbor said...

why do you think i drive all the way down to Alsea Bay to dig clams instead of harvesting from the Yaquina in our back yard?

Anonymous said...

What, more gerbils in Alsea?

The Neighbor said...

ha ha, not funny-i waz commenting on the first part of the blog, not the last part.

Anonymous said...

Way to go Paula!

Aussie Woman said...

Yes, folks. That really was the conversation. And it flowed smoothly from one to the other. I was a little nervous about the old guy sitting next to us, who looked like he worked at the mill - I didn't want to get any hairy eyeballs from him about our conversation - the pollution and all.