Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Whole Truth

Things have been a bit hectic around the Tree House this past week, so I'm compelled to dip into the Letters to the Editor (Second Edition) for a bit of wisdom. Thank you, Aussie Girl, for this contribution and to Andy Rooney, the author. When I read this out loud to The Ranger, he threw up his hands, eyes fixed on heaven and said, "Jesus Lord, welcome to my life." So now you know.

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an up date for you. Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!


Mich said...

Well worth lifting. Glad the Ranger "gets it."

Kylita said...

Andy Rooney, Sea Otter? Andy Rooney? Give your fans a few crumbs, damn it!? ;oD
"keep laughin' honey"
(Milk and sausage? are we talking breakfast here??)

Kylita said...

OK, I just gotta say: There's a slight age difference between Andy Rooney and 40 yr old women, also. Maybe we should get Hugh Hefner's take on it ? tee hee!!! His new 19 yr old twin girlfriends have moved in. So how's a 60 yr age difference? (yes, I was missing a new blog from you, so I just had to butt in again)